Entry: I am an idiot 12.13.2015

I don't know what's wrong with me. I could've chosen not to associate with people I knew were going to be bad for me [and there's no question that they were going to be bad for me, I have a sixth sense for these things apparently, developed through the years of extremely bad decision making], but for some reason, I keep making the same wrong decisions over and over and over again. I should've seen it. Actually, looking back, I now realize that I did kind of see it... or more like, felt it was going to happen. And I don't know why I ignored my instincts this time, when I normally would listen to them. It's my own fault, really. I'm the one doing this to myself, I'm the one who keeps fucking me over. And I guess I'm getting kind of tired of all these mistakes. I might not sound so coherent right now. It's not because I'm drunk, or under the influence of some kind of drug... just that I'm rewatching / marathoning the tv series Forever, which I've just found out had not been renewed for a second season. Shame. It could've rivaled Bones and Castle with respect to gimmick, and specially since it has Alana dela Garza and Ioan Gruffud in it. Ah well, I guess its timing that was going against it. And the glaring [but charmingly so!] plot holes. All these binge watching may just be my way of trying to forget the negative feelings festering inside me. And while I'm pretty sure it's not really helping, I really don't have anything else that could help me, seeing as the only people I normally talk to about these things are also the people I'm having issues with. Or at least, one-half of them. The other half I've only been associating for the convenience of it [but of course, that's turned out so spectacularly]. Sigh. At least I'm not failing my classes on top of everything else, right? Everything's got to be better than the repeat of 2011. I don't even know why I'm posting here, since this is, at best, just a mere annoyance. An inconvenience. The only reason why I've been obsessing over it is because I haven't had anything major happen to me in a while, and this trivial thing has all my attention. So the solution? Get some other things to steal my attention. [Aka Operating Binge Watch]


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